By Gus Kaeding
I am a frequent reader of ski blogs and although I enjoy them, they can become a bit repetitive. Intervals this morning, feet up in the afternoon, etc… I am going to try and mix it up a bit.
I am a avid (ahem) baseball fan and enjoy following most every sport played on earth. As I’m sure everyone is gearing up for the baseball playoffs to start I thought I’d share part of a tonge in cheek article I submitted to a baseball writing competition earlier this summer (I deservingly lost). Enjoy!
The 10 Greatest Baseball Players….Who Have Never Played Baseball.
Much has been made in recent years of America’s best athletes shying away from baseball in favor of other sports. Why this has happened is not the focus here. Rather, what would a lineup look like if it included some of the very best athletes from America and beyond. Below are the 10 best baseball players who have never played baseball.
Usain Bolt (Jamaica), Olympic Sprinter, 2nd Base
At the 2008 Summer Olympic games Bolt wowed the world by winning the 100m, 200m, and the 100m relay. He broke the record in the world’s most prestigious distance (100m) and officially laid claim on the “world’s fastest man title.” Every team loves a little speed at the top of the order so who better to hit lead off and play 2nd base. In the field Bolt project to have plus, plus range but a weak arm. That’s ok as he can just use his speed to turn each play into a footrace to the bag. At the plate his skills are raw to say the least (he’s admitted to being “a little uncoordinated.”) As the old adage says, “you can’t steal first base.” If anyone could, it’s Bolt. Opposing pitchers had better hope not.
Dale Earnhardt Jr., NASCAR Driver, Right Field
Earnhardt is a baseball player trapped in a Nascar driver’s body. He has excellent bloodlines and a burning desire to win. Earnhardt projects to play a solid right field but his real value comes on the basepaths. With Earnhardt’s veteran experience turning left and his unquestioned speed, the sky is the limit. The more pressing question is whether Earnhardt would be #88 or challenge Yaz as the most famous #8 ever.
Tiger Woods, PGA Tour, Left Field
The prototypical #3 hitter with massive power. If Tiger has a weakness on the links, it tends to be the occasional wayward slice. No worries though because in baseball we call this “hitting to the opposite field.” Thus, Tiger projects to be a .300+ hitter who puts excellent backspin on the ball creating greater carry. Rumor has it he can bench press 350+lbs so his home run total each year may approach Augusta’s par. If he has a weakness, it is his diminished range in left considering his recent ACL reconstruction.
Michael Phelps, USA Swimming, Closing Pitcher
Can Michael Phelps throw a baseball? Probably not. Can Todd Jones? Barely but, he can close a game because he has the infamous closer’s mentality. Does Michael Phelps have that mentality? Did you see the 2008 summer Olympics? Enough said.
I am currently back in Marquette enjoying alot of solid training and some fall weather. Next week we head to camp in Lake Placid with some other teams which is always fun. I’ve included a few of the greatest pain faces ever recorded from our last camp.
Cook proving skinny dudes belong in the gym too!
Karl lifting some ungodly amount of weight
I’m not a baseball fan, and I didn’t get half of the references in your article, but I still laughed my head off. I hope you win your writing competition!